So far, all of the stories from "Around Our Home Away From Home" are about ladies. I noticed that there is a larger percentage of women than men in the nursing home. Why this is so is interesting to study. (See #1 and #2 at the end) When we gather for programs at the nursing home, there are just a few men and a room full of ladies. This Thursday, I think it is time we record the story of one of the gentlemen at J. Michael Morrow Nursing Home. Jeff comes to mind immediately.

There is a dignity to all of the elderly I encounter. I am always touched by the importance of their independence, or what is left of it. I remember how much my parents helped me as a child, and even in adulthood. My Dad died at 45; but, my Mom lived to almost 89 and I depended on her for so many things. I still miss her and her “words of wisdom” still ring in my ears. I will always feel a great sense of loss for my parents. They cared for me and nurtured me. Too soon, it seemed, our roles were reversed and Mom could no longer care for herself. My sister Mavis lived next door to Mom and she carried most of the load. I helped and it was then I learned how important it was to allow Mom the dignity she deserved.

Life is constantly changing and we have to learn at each step along the way. Maintaining dignity is crucial for our seniors and I have frequently been reminded of the time we cared for Mom when I see one of the nurses helping a resident at J. Michael Morrow. They are masterful at helping the elders maintain dignity.

Jeff is a dignified gentleman and I always enjoy visiting with him whenever I see him. I am eager to find him on this beautiful fall morning.

Jeff’s room is empty. Disappointed, I turn to walk down the hall and I smile as I see Jeff headed my way. He is neatly dressed, shaved and has a fresh haircut. That’s where he has been, he tells me. Dale Andrus cuts his hair. I explain that I feel it is time for a “guy story” and there is no argument from Jeff. He quickly agrees.

Whenever there is a function at the nursing home, we can count on Jeff to lend a hand. First, he knows what is going on. He is on top of things. He helps with the Communion Service on Sunday mornings. He has called Bingo. He arranges the chairs and he always has the mic set up. He even checks the batteries. When a program is over, Jeff waits for the room to clear and then he goes to work rearranging the chairs and returning the mic. These are just a few things Jeff does. I think, we take him for granted. He does much more. Jeff is a very pleasant man. He is always well groomed and you can also count of Jeff’s smile.

As we begin our visit, I am curious about how Jeff became so helpful. And, how long has he been at J. Michael? Where did he grow up? Jeff knows the answers; but, he maintains control. He begins with what is important to him, his wife’s illness. For Jeff, life really began when he married and that life lasted over 66 years.

Jeff’s wife became ill, he explains. He noticed that she was becoming very forgetful. A visit to the doctor’s office confirmed what Jeff suspected: She had Alzheimer’s. When it became necessary to live at J. Michael Morrow Nursing Home, Jeff visited and continued to take care of Thelma. She was at the nursing home for 13 years. Jeff grew up being responsible for family and there was no question that he would take care of his wife until the end. But, Jeff had health issues of his own during the last three years of his wife’s life. As time went by, Jeff suffered with leg cramps and it was determined that he needed stents in his legs and one stent in a kidney. It was six years ago, Jeff made J. Michael Morrow his Home Away From Home.

Jeff grew up in Pecannaire and Leonville. His mom was a Liviolette and Jeff has had sisters, brothers and half-sisters and half-brothers. Jeff was the oldest of his group of siblings. They grew up on a farm where everyone worked, his mother included. Jeff’s mom had a home to maintain but also a garden to tend and she had to care for the usual farm animals. If there was to be milk for the family, the cow had to be milked. In addition to that, Jeff’s mother took in sewing in order to support her family. Jeff learned to do the chores so that his mom could sew. Jeff even learned to embroider and enjoyed that very much. Where children now play computer games, Jeff’s generation learned to entertain themselves doing things like embroidering. Seems like he would do whatever needed to be done to help his mother. (That’s where he learned to be helpful!) As Jeff became capable, he cooked, cleaned house, tended the garden and animals and he took care of the younger children.

The children of this day will have a hard time believing this, but, Jeff walked almost two miles to school. As many others of that time, Jeff attended school until about the 7th grade. By that time, Jeff earned money delivering newspapers and the money he earned was not play money. It was to help his mother support their family.

Tony Chachere was a wholesale drug supplier for the general merchandise stores of the area. The company Tony Chachere started was the Louisiana Drug Company. (See #3 at the end) Jeff explains that there were several competing wholesale drug companies. Each supplier developed a territory. A salesman, or “drummer” as they were called back then, would visit the stores in a territory and take the orders for non-prescription drugs like aspirin, castor oil, Mamou Cough Syrup, Bon Soir Bug insect repellent and even some hardware items. (See #4) And, no, there was no Tony Chachere Seasoning back then; but, as many wholesale drug companies did, Tony Chachere and his Louisiana Drug Company had a lab. They made some of the products they sold. For example, Mamou Cough Syrup and Bon Soir Bug were products made in their lab.

Click on the links at the end to learn more about Tony Chachere and to see pictures of some of the places which, no doubt, became familiar to Jeff as he drove the streets of Opelousas, Port Barre, Krotz Springs, Melville, Kinder, etc., as he delivered orders to the general merchandise stores in the territory that Louisiana Drug Company serviced.

Jeff recalls that at one stage of his life, he worked in the oilfield in Crowley for Fred Wyble. He worked on a crew that constructed the board roads. It was wintertime in the rice fields and Jeff had to walk knee deep in mud. He and a fellow worker carried boards that were about 12 inches wide by 30 feet long. Sinking in the mud was not fun and especially when his partner dropped his end of the board and Jeff’s shoulder took the hit. He quickly learned that this was not the type of work he was cut out to do.

The next job Jeff remembers was driving taxis for Frank Diesi. The hours were long but Jeff fell in love and married during that stage of his career. Jeff was 17 and his bride, Thelma Stelly, only 16. “She was beautiful,” Jeff says and he points out her picture on the bulletin board over his bed. In the end, the last two years of her life, she did not speak but she kept a smile on her face. Such are his memories.

What is also impressive is the many medals Jeff has won since he is at the nursing home. He competes in Senior Olympics and any other competition that is presented. Just as he had done throughout his life, Jeff pushes hard and he wins!

At one time, Jeff worked in Arnaudville for Raymond Schexnayder. The Raymond and Jeff team opened the store which is presently Dollar General, across from the Vincent Darby house. Jeff worked as the Assistant Manager for Raymond. He was a buyer, stocked shelves and performed all the duties required of him. “I’ve been dealing with the public all of my life, "he explains.

Before his job with Raymond Schexnayder, Jeff worked for Sunbeam Bakery for 32 years. His delivery route was from Port Barre to Krotz Springs and Melville. Jeff drove that route six days a week but not on Sundays. He advanced to the position of superintendent for Sunbeam and worked out of the Scott office.

Next came a move to Lake Charles while he worked for Sunbeam Bakery. Jeff remembers that his youngest son met a girl in Lake Charles and when Jeff and his wife returned to Leonville, his youngest son stayed and remains in Lake Charles today. When Jeff returned to Leonville is when he went to work with Raymond Schexnayder. After he left Raymond, Jeff was mowing his lawn in Leonville when Howard Champagne of Champagne Marche stopped and asked him to come to work at the grocery store. Jeff worked there for 4 or 5 years.

For a man with little education, Jeff is proud of his career and how he was able to support his family. With his many years on the road delivering products, Jeff is thankful that he was never involved in an accident. He remembers how he had to be careful on Highway 190 between Port Barre and Krotz Springs. Many accidents happened on that route.

Jeff and Thelma had four children. The oldest, Charles, lives in Opelousas and is retired now but worked for the fire department. Next was Roger who lives in Leonville and worked in the oilfield. Jeff’s daughter, Pam, lives in Austin and she is also retired but, Jeff giggles as he says: “She loves to pet sit.” The youngest is Jeff Jr. He lives in Lake Charles where he does electrical work in the big plants and businesses.

Only the oldest, Charles, was born at home. All of the other children were born at Opelousas General Hospital. His wife was a natural born mother and had no problems delivering her babies and caring for them.

Jeff and Thelma were content at home and never felt the need to go out and party. They did not drink but enjoyed cooking and spending peaceful time with their family. Jeff says: “We were family people.”

Jeff is involved in the many activities at the nursing home. In his room, there is a television; however, Jeff dropped one of his hearing aids and is unable to have it repaired at this time. In addition, Jeff’s roommate is ill and does not speak and so Jeff feels it would be rude to play a TV at the volume that would allow him to hear.

Jeff sleeps well. At 87 years, he is sufficiently busy. Having worked for most of his life, Jeff keeps the habit of getting up early and preparing for his day. He is happy when he can help anyone who needs him. He says: “Anything I can do to help anyone, I am happy to do.” Jeff is a member of the Knights of Columbus and his Catholic faith is very important to him. He attends the Apostleship of Prayer Nonco Meetings faithfully and assists at the Knights of Columbus Communion Service on Sunday mornings. On the last Saturday of the month, he leaves the nursing home to attend La Table Francais at NuNu’s on Highway 93 in Arnaudville.

Now, Jeff is not the typical resident. He has a car and zips around Arnaudville and the surrounding areas for his haircut and to take his fianceé, Elsie, on little outings. Yes, Jeff is engaged to a resident at the nursing home. Elsie and Jeff met there two years ago, when Elsie came for rehab as a temporary resident and they “hit it off.” Jeff never dreamed he would marry again, but meeting Elsie changed his mind. Now that Elsie is a permanent resident, Jeff has asked her to marry him. Both families are very supportive but, although Jeff has the paperwork ready, no date has been set. Jeff is hoping to marry Elsie soon. At that time, they will share a private room and enjoy life in their Home Away From Home.

Jeff and Elsie are the King and Queen of J. Michael Morrow Nursing Home Pageant. In April, they were selected as runners up for the Region 3 Pageant which was held at the Little Flower Auditorium in Arnaudville. Read more about the Pageant by clicking on the story entitled "J. M. Morrow Nursing Home Hosts Region 3 Pageant."

Jeff loves it at J. Michael Morrow. Jeff says what makes life special for him is that he can help do things. When he finishes eating, he likes to help clean the tables. That makes him feel at home and it’s good exercise, he adds.

Jeff states that the food in the nursing home is very good. It is just impossible for the food to be seasoned to accommodate all of the diets of the residents. His experience with Tony Chachere Seasoning has given him the ability to mix his own to add to his meals. He has a supply of ingredients which he enjoys blending so that his meals are seasoned to his liking.

Jeff functions better when he keeps his routine. He likes to shave at 3:30 in the morning, the same schedule he has maintained since his Sunbeam days. He takes his bath in the whirlpool instead of a shower. He has someone who helps him since it is difficult for him to bend. Jeff keeps his room very neat and fixes his bed himself. He uses a walker but he is strong and carries himself with pride.

During the month of August, 2015, two French students volunteered at the nursing home and the residents quickly fell in love with the girls. Marie Aureart and Margane were delightful to have around. Pictured above from left to right are Marie, Jeff and Margane.

I thank Jeff and he walks me down the hall to show me Elsie’s room. She has seen me go by and she will tell her story soon. It is easy for me to see why Jeff fell in love with this smiling lady who is interested in learning more about Jeff and his life. There is still so much to look forward to.

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1. “Why Do Women Live Longer Than Men?” by Christopher Middleton, Newsweek, August 1, 2014 - http://www.newsweek.com/2014/08/08/when-it-comes-long-life-there-no-gender-equality-262578.html
2. “Why Women Live Longer than Men” by Thomas T. Perls, M.D., M.P.H., Harvard School of Medicine and Ruth C. Fretts, M.D., M.P.H., Harvard School of Medicine - http://jerrymondo.tripod.com/lgev/id2.html
3. Tony Chachere - http://www.tonychachere.com/tony-chachere-himself/
4. Louisiana Drug Company - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tony_Chachere
5. Opelousas Historic Tour – Item 53 - http://www.cityofopelousas.com/sites/default/files/City%20of%20Opelousas%20brochure%20paginated%20sm...