Thursday, October 12, 2017, is Movie Time! Once a month, Sandy Esteve and I host a movie. Sandy installs a curtain over the window next to the television. The Activities Directors pop popcorn, lights are dimmed and "My Fair Lady" is on. A whole movie is just too long so we watched the first half in the morning and then it was lunch and nap time. Sandy and I returned at 2:00 p.m. for the second half of that eight Academy Award winner with Rex Harrison and Audrey Hepburn. It was a hit! We are thinking of showing "The King and I" next month; but, one of the gentlemen(?), who is in his 90's, thinks we should show a Playboy flick instead!

On Mondays at 2:30 p.m., it is Bingo time. Usually, there are about 35 residents who play. This week, 38 showed up. The residents love Bingo and I would think that this is a great activity for senior citizens. Gloria Hebert, one of the regulars, says "Bingo works your mind."

I don't know what prompted me to volunteer to call Bingo; but, I am so happy I did. I love it as much as the residents. Everyone is always eager to start and the Activities Directors tell me that I cannot break the rules and start early. I have to start at 2:30. So, about 2:15 or so, with mic in hand, I start my little program. We pray an Our Father and we recite the Pledge of Allegiance and then, we practice shouting BINGO!! I am old too, I tell my resident friends. My hearing is failing. After I can hear them shouting Bingo! easily, we move on to hand, arm and neck exercises. No, the residents are not eager to exercise but, they put up with me because they love Bingo.

Gloria Hebert plays two Bingo cards--one for herself and one for her husband, Lloyd, who patiently sits next to her. Lloyd has Alzheimer's. He looks as though he is in perfect health and very strong. After visiting with Gloria following Bingo last Monday, I understand just how damaging that disease can be, not only to the patient, but to the caregiver as well. I recalled Nicholas Sparks' "The Notebook" as I sat chatting with Gloria after the nurse wheeled Lloyd to their room.

Gloria was born in Pointe-aux-Chens, a community in Terrebonne Parish near Montegut. The story of the life of Lloyd and Gloria Hebert continues:

"My family lived in Houma. We moved there when I started high school. My parents had six children, three boys and three girls. I still have a sister and two brothers who live in Houma. I have one sister who was a French teacher who lives in Alabama. The others are deceased.

"I graduated from Terrebonne High in June and got married to Lloyd Hebert in July. Lloyd was born in Chauvin and we met in high school in the General Science class. I couldn't draw worth a hoot andLloyd did my drawings for me. It was the start of our wonderful life. Through life, dancing was one of our favorite activities. My dad had a dance hall in Pointe-aux-Chens. I was brought up in there and learned to dance at a young age. Seems like Lloyd always knew how to dance. He and I have danced many a dance, at home and whenever we had the opportunity. Even now, I dance a bit in our room at the nursing home.

"Lloyd joined the Marines after graduating from high school and was stationed in North Carolina where we lived as newly weds. We also lived in South Carolina before Lloyd was discharged and we returned to Houma. We both went to work in a shrimp canning company in Houma. Lloyd was a Jack's Cookie man for ten years. He was transferred from Houma to Hammond.At one time, Lloyd and I lived in New Orleans where our two oldest children were born. My dad was an oyster man. Lloyd went to work for him at the French Market. Lloyd would stay there at night and sell sacks of oysters.

"I've been involved with the seafood business for most of my life--first with my dad, and then with Lloyd when he started his own seafood company. Lloyd went into business with Albert "Tubby" Lyons, a man who ran for State Representative at one time. He and Lloyd formed a partnership but when Tubby passed away, his wife took over the business. Lloyd went to work selling oilfield supplies and then after consulting with a lawyer, he decided to open his own company. We rented a building in Moss Bluff for our retail and wholesale seafood business.

"Lloyd did his own cooking. He made, among other things, stuffed crabs, stuffed shrimp, boiled crawfish and etouffees. After we got that running well, we opened a restaurant in Moss Bluff close to Highway 171. We bought a grocery store and converted it into our restaurant which we named 'Lloyd's Cajun Kitchen.' Lloyd developed his recipes and prepared the food. He cooked everything. All kinds of seafood. At one time, we started with steaks but people were too picky. For one customer, Lloyd fixed three steaks before that customer was satisfied. The next day, we took steaks off the menu.

"The restaurant and seafood business was a lot of work for Lloyd. In addition to all of the regular work, he would drive to Houma to pick up the seafood--oysters, shrimp, etc., he needed.

"I worked in the business too. I did the books and when the restaurant opened at night, I worked the register. Sometimes a member of the staff would not show up and I had to pitch in. Or, the cooks would come in drunk and I would have to help there. I had to carry the trays, did dishes, whatever had to be done, I did it.

"It came a time, a Christmas Eve, when Lloyd called to tell me that he was closing for the holidays. I told him to close the restaurant and leave it closed. I told him he was no longer in a shape to do all of that work. I asked him not to post a date when we would reopen. The restaurant business is very hard work. The crowds were large. The people would stand outside. We would have had to build another restaurant or add on to the one we had to accommodate all of our many customers. Of course, they were very disappointed when we closed. They wanted us to reopen.

"But, Lloyd had high blood pressure. He needed surgery on his knee that was hurting him. He was in no shape to be working. In the end, my sons had to come and help Lloyd because he was in so much pain.I never regretted closing the restaurant. It was enough."

Gloria continues:

"Moss Bluff became our home. We had good friends there. It is an area of good people. In those days there was no drug problem like they have today in many places. Moss Bluff was a very good place to raise our children. We are a Catholic family and all of my children were baptized Catholic.

"Like my parents, I had six children, three boys and three girls. My oldest son died of cancer on July 18, 2013. I had always thought that you go before your children; but, I learned that is not always the case. Lloyd, Jr. and his wife 'Gay' had two girls, Brandi Sharpton, who is a school teacher and she has two children, Cade and Carli Beth; and Brooke who is a state trooper.

"Our oldest daughter Aileen and her husband, Jimmy Rhodes, live in Toledo Bend. They have cattle and horses. She is a farmer and has two tunnel houses she fills with plants of all kinds. She freezers her produce and then shares with friends. Aileen and Jimmy have three children: Stacie is an RN and is married to Craig Jenkins; Aimee is a teacher; and, a son, Jamie, who works in the oil field.

"Our daughter Cheryl and her husband, Dana Pitre, lived in Houston for many years where Dana worked in the oil patch. Cheryl, an R.N., used her skills to direct office operations in health facilities. Cheryl and Dana are now enjoying retirement as residents of Youngsville. They have a son named Shannon who is self-employed and has two children, Avery and Andrew. Cheryl's daughter, Mitsi, is an RN who does ultrasounds. She is the mother of a girl called Shelby.

"Our youngest daughter, Nanette Brunet, lives in Houma. She works with her husband, Barry, who has a commercial plumbing business. They have two daughters: Angela and Elizabeth. Elizabeth is married to Brett and they have a girl called 'Remi Lynn.'

"My son Eric lives in Moss Bluff. He talked about taking over Lloyd's Cajun Kitchen but I told him 'No.' Operating a restaurant is a lot of hard work. Eric worked for Baker Hughes but now works at a plant in Moss Bluff. He is married to a Sharel. Their son Eric, Jr., has a cement company. He was married to Kerri. The couple adopted a baby boy named Trapp. The family was saddened by the death of Kerri. Now, Eric, Jr., is a single parent and takes wonderful care of Trapp who started school this year.

Eric, Sr., and Sharel have a daughter called Kristen who is a college grad who works in the Lake Charles area. Eric's third child is Austin who is a college student.

"My youngest son, Daniel, lives in Breaux Bridge and works for Community Coffee. He has a great job there. Danny is married to Lucie, who teaches at St. Leo's. They have three children, two girls and a boy. Their daughter Amber is married to Attorney Jeff Lieberman. They have one child, Lillian. Michael, is married to Brittany. They have a newborn baby called 'Lucy Vivian.' Danny's daughter Erica opened a hair salon in Opelousas. She has four children: Aiden, Madden, Landon and Addison.

Gloria has more to share. "In 1952, I won a car!" she tells me.

"I had a friend who was great about driving me around. We did not own a car. I wanted to buy a pair of slippers for a neighbor who shared our duplex. I would see her in her old men's sandals. I asked Betty to come with me. While at Sears in New Orleans, shopping for slippers for my neighbor, I bought a ticket for a chance on a car. There was a huge barrel of tickets and I had but one ticket. Later, on the way to my doctor's appointment, I told Betty, the driver, that I wouldn't win. There were so many tickets in that big barrel! But, that night, Lloyd was at work and the phone rang. It was a Sears representative calling to tell me I was the winner of a 1952 Cheverlot. I didn't believe it. The person on the phone said just to come in the morning, 'you and your husband, to pick up your key and your car.' I called Lloyd who did not believe it. I called my dad and told him. I was worried because I did not have money to buy insurance on a new car. Dad said not to worry. He came in the morning and brought money for insurance. We had a family car!"

A newspaper clipping in Gloria's scrapbook shows Lloyd and Gloria and the 1952 Chevy.

My conversation with Gloria in the dining room, following our Bingo game was very pleasant. She is a strong woman. Surviving the loss of a son, a husband who has Alzheimer's and her own health issues requires strength. Gloria tells me that since 1982 she has had Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia and now she has been diagnosed with Lymphoma, which is worse than Leukemia. She says she goes once a month, for two days at a time, to have infusions so they can build up her immune system. If the infusions are given to rapidly, it causes chest pains so it takes two days. She is also a diabetic. Gloria says she could not believe it. No one in her family has diabetes. She admits that her diet is not the best. It does not include greens. She does not like any green vegetables. But, she has lived to 86 years old without eating them. Her mother died at 94. Life is not always easy. But, Gloria carries on.

Gloria says when she moved in with her daughter in Houma, a social worker came to talk to her about Alzheimer's disease. He told her that the caregiver usually dies first. She says she can understand that now. Lloyd takes no medicine. He does have high blood pressure but he is strong. She tells me that she knows that Lloyd's Alzheimer's is getting worse. She says he cries sometimes. She recently walked into their room at the nursing home and Lloyd said: "Where's my wife?" She patiently explained: "Lloyd, I'm your wife! For 69 years I have been your wife."Gloria says that she took a vow when she married Lloyd and she will always keep it. "For better or for worse, until death do us part."

Gloria has picked up her cross and she lovingly carries it. She realized about four years ago that something was happening with Lloyd. She says: "He was still driving and I noticed that instead of going the right way down a street, he would go the opposite direction, towards the traffic. I said: 'Oh, no, you have to quit driving. Something is wrong.' Lloyd accepted that. He has a wonderful character. He is a people person. He just loved everybody. He loved to visit. At the restaurant, everybody would ask for him."

I asked how it is that she and Lloyd came to live at J. Michael Morrow Nursing Home. These are her words: "You know that Lloyd has Alzheimer's. I put him in a home in Houma; but every time I would leave, he would cry. His neighbors in the home would tell me how much he would carry on when I left. He screamed and cried and all that. And, he was not always treated well. They laughed at him. I told the children that I would put myself in the home. The children felt they would have to find another place. Danny, my son who lives in Breaux Bridge, started looking for a nursing home and he found this place. He said how nice it was. The girls came and looked and they said 'Yes, Mom, you need to go there.' I was in the hospital and when I got out, they brought me here. That was two years ago in February."

I asked if she and Lloyd argued? She answered: "He said we never did."

Gloria's only complaint is that she wants to play more Bingo. She says sometimes the weekends are long and she wishes she could play more Bingo on Saturdays and Sundays. She said it is the entertainment that they enjoy the most. Gloria says it does not matter if she wins or not. I promised that I would see if I could add to my volunteer hours and come to call Bingo on the weekends.

Any volunteers out there who like to call Bingo? You will be richly rewarded with the love of the wonderful nursing home community. You can come once a month or once a week. Anything you do is appreciated. The volunteers all fall in love at J. Michael Morrow Nursing Home. This community is like no other. Give it a try. You can stop when you are ready.

I really love the nursing home. I volunteer to continue the work of an old man who was born in France and brought to this country before he was two. Nonco was a tough disciplinarian but he loved the Sacred Heart of Jesus and his church community. He walked the streets of Arnaudville delivering Sacred Heart leaflets to the families and he loved to put on programs in the Little Flower Auditorium. I am a poor substitute for Nonco but I try to carry on some of his work. I feel guilty sometimes because I get more out of visiting the nursing home than I give.

If you are not sure about volunteering, you can come and join me one day and check it out. That is how I met Sandy. I discovered that she lives about a mile from me and we have become fast friends.

Visit https://www.nonco.org for more on Nonco or give me a call or text if you want to help me call Bingo or write resident memoirs. 337-523-5832

Betty Arnaud Roy, Proud Volunteer
Co-Founder of the Nonco Foundation.